All of my books can be seen here at my Amazon Author central page. Below you will find links to each for direct navigation.
Paperback available HERE
Kindle e-reader version available HERE
[REDACTED] is also available in Big Rapids at Kilwins/The Old Pioneer Store
Editorial Reviews
Review
“Brash, sarcastic, irreverent, heartfelt, and touching, Decker’s memoir is all this and more. Highly recommended.” (Library Journal)
“This is not your mother’s autism book! Raw, honest with ‘she said what?!’ laughs on every page.” (Kim Stagliano, author of All I Can Handle: I’m No Mother Teresa)
“This is not your mother’s autism book! Raw, honest with ‘she said what?!’ laughs on every page.” (Kim Stagliano, author of All I Can Handle: I’m No Mother Teresa)
I Wish I Were Engulfed in Flames is available in multiple platforms and wherever good books are sold. Here is the Amazon link for the HARDCOVER and KINDLE.
Clicking on the Paperback or Kindle link next to each will send you directly to each book on Amazon.
Dex Morneau is a self-described long-haired heap of sinew and gristle, with too few clients and too much drinking time on his hands. He's comfortable in his own skin, uncomfortable around anyone else's - tired, apathetic, and generally resigned to both, due to his propensity toward circumspection.
He supplements his private detective work with process serving, and is none too happy about that fact. Six months ago, Carla Danning sauntered into his life, all tits, temperament and testicular torture, and she's been an invective-spewing shackle around his tackle ever since.
He supplements his private detective work with process serving, and is none too happy about that fact. Six months ago, Carla Danning sauntered into his life, all tits, temperament and testicular torture, and she's been an invective-spewing shackle around his tackle ever since.
Four days before we found ourselves tied up in a shack in the Florida Everglades with an alligator, Carla and I were coming off a week of not speaking. By not speaking I mean she’d quit her job as my assistant after a lawyer from the company her fugitive husband co-owned hired me to locate him and the seven million dollars he embezzled from their accounts. Carla and I were still communicating by email, if only to piece together what little information we had. After being the target of two attacks, our only option with regard to her safety is to put the pieces of the puzzle together before whoever is looking for Carla finds her.
I used to be able to see...
But that was before we killed Carla's scumbag child-murdering ex-husband, Laurencio Rios—who now sleeps with the rest of whatever fertilizes an Everglades soil bed once an eight-foot gator has its way with you. That was also before we got mixed up in his embezzlement scheme, before the FBI got involved, before someone tried to set The Meanwhile (my favorite bar) on fire, before Mercedes Sandoval, the ex’s former partner, started stalking us and eventually disappeared, and before the explosion in Carla’s bathroom, which ultimately led to my possibly-but-not-for-sure blindness.
Once upon a time Carla had a husband and they did all the fun stuff people do which eventually results in a kid. But then Carla and Husband got divorced—as forty-nine percent of American couples are wont to do once they get bored, distracted, or homicidal. Eventually Carla remarried one Laurencio Sandoval. Carla and kid live happily ever after with the extorting bastard until Carla catches wind of the shenanigans and calls him on it. Rios—who Carla later learned only married her for her connection to Mark Kerringer, the third business partner—goes off his nut and kills Carla’s child in a fit of rage that resulted in some of the most horrifying crime scene photos I’ve ever had the misfortune to lay eyes upon. Child-killing psychopath goes on the lam, eventually hiding in the Florida Everglades, while Carla changes her name from Lucy Rios to Carla Danning and makes another life in Michigan. She begins stalking the author of a series of crime novels that had been her only distraction in the months following the death of her child. Somehow, Carla ingratiates herself enough to become the assistant, secretary, and all-around ass-chapping presence in said detective-slash-author’s life… yadda yadda yadda, we track down Sandoval and feed him to the fishes. Actually it was an alligator, one that had previously spent some quality time chained to the wall of a shack Carla and detective-slash-author were deposited in after being kidnapped by some goons sent by the ex.
But that was before we killed Carla's scumbag child-murdering ex-husband, Laurencio Rios—who now sleeps with the rest of whatever fertilizes an Everglades soil bed once an eight-foot gator has its way with you. That was also before we got mixed up in his embezzlement scheme, before the FBI got involved, before someone tried to set The Meanwhile (my favorite bar) on fire, before Mercedes Sandoval, the ex’s former partner, started stalking us and eventually disappeared, and before the explosion in Carla’s bathroom, which ultimately led to my possibly-but-not-for-sure blindness.
Once upon a time Carla had a husband and they did all the fun stuff people do which eventually results in a kid. But then Carla and Husband got divorced—as forty-nine percent of American couples are wont to do once they get bored, distracted, or homicidal. Eventually Carla remarried one Laurencio Sandoval. Carla and kid live happily ever after with the extorting bastard until Carla catches wind of the shenanigans and calls him on it. Rios—who Carla later learned only married her for her connection to Mark Kerringer, the third business partner—goes off his nut and kills Carla’s child in a fit of rage that resulted in some of the most horrifying crime scene photos I’ve ever had the misfortune to lay eyes upon. Child-killing psychopath goes on the lam, eventually hiding in the Florida Everglades, while Carla changes her name from Lucy Rios to Carla Danning and makes another life in Michigan. She begins stalking the author of a series of crime novels that had been her only distraction in the months following the death of her child. Somehow, Carla ingratiates herself enough to become the assistant, secretary, and all-around ass-chapping presence in said detective-slash-author’s life… yadda yadda yadda, we track down Sandoval and feed him to the fishes. Actually it was an alligator, one that had previously spent some quality time chained to the wall of a shack Carla and detective-slash-author were deposited in after being kidnapped by some goons sent by the ex.
By way of bringing this sad little train into the station—although I now fear I’ve given you all the ammunition you need to be way more sympathetic to Carla Danning than she deserves—the extortion had to do with government contracts, FEMA to be precise. Right now, Carla and I have access to all the paperwork necessary to prove Mercedes Sandoval was up to her pretty little titties in the muck. Unfortunately, she isn’t the type to let loose ends like that go untied.
So that’s where we are.
Dr. Bertrand Diesel is a sex therapist who spends his days listening to stories of dysfunction and perversion, including a patient involved in a physical love affair with his dog and a mortician who can’t keep his hands to himself. The Wisdom of Repugnance is a black comedy exploring the internal shudder we are all supposed to have that helps us differentiate between, say, someone who loves their dog, and someone who LOVES their dog. WARNING: Adult themes, humor.
The Peacock Mirror is a cheeky Victorian era romp; a titillating cautionary tale of blackmail, bed-hopping, and social climbing which turns lover against lover and friend against friend.
When young Julia Bourget catches her beloved Cyril - actor and object of her long-standing affection - backstage in a precarious position with a poorly-costumed Mercutio, she schemes to derail her parents’ plans of an arranged marriage by ruining herself with an explicit portrait. Thus, Girl Beneath the Window is born.
While posing for the artist, Sage Halliwell, Julia meets wicked Lady and Lord Brighton. As Sage becomes enamored with her sitter, Julia falls under the beguiling nature of Lord Brighton, who exposes her to others in their social sphere, namely Dr. Paul Campbell. Using a cosmetic trial for a new anti-aging face cream as bait, the doctor appeals to vanity to lure participants for his scientific sexual case studies.
Lady Brighton wants to destroy Julia, Sage merely wants her, and Dr. Paul Campbell wants everyone’s dirty little sexual secrets for his research. When a jealous Lady Brighton displays the risqué portrait publicly to ruin her, Julia gets revenge by stealing Campbell’s sexual case studies. She secretly sets out to write and publish a roman à clef in order to get back at those she believes have done her wrong.
Because she and her husband, as well as Sage and a host of Londoners, have participated in the case study, Lady Brighton must retrieve the stolen files before Julia offers up a scandal on London society far worse than anything Mr. Wilde, himself, could ever provide.
When young Julia Bourget catches her beloved Cyril - actor and object of her long-standing affection - backstage in a precarious position with a poorly-costumed Mercutio, she schemes to derail her parents’ plans of an arranged marriage by ruining herself with an explicit portrait. Thus, Girl Beneath the Window is born.
While posing for the artist, Sage Halliwell, Julia meets wicked Lady and Lord Brighton. As Sage becomes enamored with her sitter, Julia falls under the beguiling nature of Lord Brighton, who exposes her to others in their social sphere, namely Dr. Paul Campbell. Using a cosmetic trial for a new anti-aging face cream as bait, the doctor appeals to vanity to lure participants for his scientific sexual case studies.
Lady Brighton wants to destroy Julia, Sage merely wants her, and Dr. Paul Campbell wants everyone’s dirty little sexual secrets for his research. When a jealous Lady Brighton displays the risqué portrait publicly to ruin her, Julia gets revenge by stealing Campbell’s sexual case studies. She secretly sets out to write and publish a roman à clef in order to get back at those she believes have done her wrong.
Because she and her husband, as well as Sage and a host of Londoners, have participated in the case study, Lady Brighton must retrieve the stolen files before Julia offers up a scandal on London society far worse than anything Mr. Wilde, himself, could ever provide.
No comments:
Post a Comment